- The "Aristocrats." Why, that's terrible! Wendy Liebman: It's a family, the Cavanaugh's - Ann and William. All aboard for Paris! Those cats have got to go! Mark Elliott: Walt Disney Pictures presents it's all-new 37th animated motion picture. ", T. Sean Shannon: "Well, you can't say that.". Madame Adelaide Bonfamille:You know, Georges, if Edgarhad only known about the will,I'm sure he neverwould have left. [Snarling, Hissing, Spitting ]. Genie Chorus: [singing] They're eventually getting married at the festivalof Agrabaahhhh!!!! It's time to get rid of these cats all the way to Timbuktu once and for all. [Huffing]. Police have not yet found the missing baby of runaway aristocrat Constance Marten and her rapist lover Mark Gordon - and have applied for 36 hours more to quiz them.. [Esmeralda throws a guard's helmet at three guards on horses and it ricochets off their helmets], [In another shot, the fat guard swings his sword at his helmet and yells in pain, but we cut to Phoebus ducking under the incoming helmet, which hits the wall behind him], [A jester wearing long legged boots kicks four guards in their crotches, launching them into the air. Sir? But now we have tocook up a little spell. I lie on a chaise lounge, naked, reading sonnets from Shakespeare, and my third sister, she makes a painting very similar to Decroix's 'The Girl'." They've got a paper route, they go to school and then you f*** 'em. Even if the punchline was the 1%, the joke would. Scat Cat:What's a little swinger like youdoin' on our side oftown? Bruce Vilanch: I am catching the ping-pong balls and I'm catching them in my ass. [Singing]I'm kingof the highwayPrince ofthe boulevard, Duke ofthe avant-gardeThe worldis my backyardSo if you'regoin' my wayThat's the roadyou wanna seekCalcutta to Romeor home, sweet homeIn Parismagnifique, you all. Abigail: He takes to waterlike a fish, doesn't he? Roquefort:[ Muttering ]Why did I listen to that O'Malley cat!? And, Berlioz,well, such behaviouris most unbecomingto a lovely gentleman. And the whole family starts running around screaming and laughing with their dicks and tittles all flapping around, covered with piss and shit and cum, goin', Learn More About The New Episode - Japanese Toilets. 2023. Uncle Waldo: Why,I say there, now. [O'Malley pounces. Duchess: Now, now, darlings. Now, now, my darlings. This article is about the offensive joke known as "The Aristocrats". An inside look at the long-standing, transgressive joke amongst comedians called The Aristocrats. Hey,Mr. O'Malley, how much farther is it? I'll be right back, y'all. What's all the whis--whispering about, huh? For a walking tourof France. O'Malley: Oh! I'm outta here! Don't get sore at me! [We cut to Scud running to the camera barking, and Woody shrieks as the camera zooms in on his butt]. Here we go. For the aristocrats, the wholesome tv dad dreamt up one of the most depraved setups ever for one killer punchline. Oh, dear. Something horrible is happening. I'm still tryin'to get to SHORE! Duchess: Le Petit Cafe? Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: Thank you, Edgar. Edgar opens the door. Answer me please. Portions of this script are copyrighted by walt disney company and are used without permission. Toulouse: Why didn't I answer? O'Malley: You know something? Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. Now don't panic. That was very nice of you. Sounds like Scat Cat andhis gang have dropped by. 17 The 2005 film The Aristocrats documented the history of the joke, which was so filthy that comedians traditionally told it backstage at clubs rather than in the spotlight. So the piano player starts to play. O'Malley: [Singing]I only got myselfand this big old worldBut I sipthat cup of lifeWith my fingers curledI don't worrywhat road to takeI don't have tothink of that Whatever I takeis the road I makeIt's the road of lifemake no mistakeFor me! Duchess: Oh, no, no, no. O'Malley: Oh, how sweet. How are you doing that? with the starsas our guide. O'Malley! This family, mother, father, four kids. Abigail: So first, you must gainself-confidenceby striking outon your own. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille:Oh, it's no use, Edgar. The fun begins now on video! Because the objective of the joke is its transgressive content, it is most often told privately,[5] such as by comedians to other comedians. [Shrieking] What's going on?! I had the most horribledream about them. That's good. All thoselittle kittens of yours, Duchess. [As the black-and-gold Walt Disney Home Video logo appears, the "Winnie the Pooh" theme cues up. Choo-choo-choo-choo,choo-choo-choo-choo. Come along, dear. [Laughing]My two favorite nooses! [ Humming ]Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ayTa-ra-ra-boom-de--Oops! Berlioz: Hey, do you really havea magic carpet, Monsieur O'Malleysir? Judy Gold: People can get up on stage if they want to, you know, finger my niece or touch my nephew's penis. It does look hopeless,doesn't it? Milkman:Sapristi! Lafayette: [Chuckling nervously] Ow! Duchess: Oh, mademoiselles, thank you so muchfor helping Mr. O'Malley. This is the second theatrical appearance of South Park. Abigail: A roue. Edgar Balthazar: Madame, uh-- May I takeyour parcel, Madame? Uncle Waldo: [Mumbling,Sighing &Hiccupping]. Uncle Waldo: [Laughter]Now, now, now, now. Duchess:Because of our owner. Toulouse: Gee, Marie, why'd youhave to fall off the bridge? Beau Weaver: From moviesto magical vacations. I'm the leader. It's "Roquefort". Have some. Copyright 2023 Penske Business Media, LLC. That was something. Then we see a picture of Walt Disney]. You are most fortunatewe happened along. Toulouse: Sorry, Ol'Black face. The horse hits Edgar with her back legs and he flies into the trunk. You don't know the way! Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: I've asked you to come hereona very importantlegal matter. Oh. All Rights reserved. Kittens! Stocks and bonds? Edgar Balthazar: Your favorite dishprepared a very special way. Robin Williams: It's a kindler, gentler genie! Toulouse hisses and spits], Toulouse: [Snarling,Hissing]Meow! Andy Richter: And the man says "The Aristocrats" [long pause] and did I mention that two of the men are probably Jews? How could I forget him? Mark Elliott: "Aladdin 3: The King of Thieves"! That seems to make the whole joke. Will you hold on, please! Now, just a few dunks. In all our days,in tender ways,her love for uswas shown. Don't mindif I do. Did you haveany luck at all? Lafayette: Oh, shucks, Napoleon. Oh, are you all right? Because with usshe never felt alone. Would you agree with that? Get those twoweb-footed life guards outta here, okay?! [1] Gottfried quickly launched into the infamous Andy Richter: The brother comes out. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [Laughs]Oh, Georges! This is what this joke is about anyway, it's about using your kids. 2005. Duchess:[offscreen]And they are very fond of you. I thought he'd never leave! Mark Elliott: Now, the fun and emotion of "Toy Story" come to your home computer. Georges Hautecourt: Will, eh? Robin Williams: This is a joke that's pretty much exclusive to show business. WebThe aristocrats is a notoriously filthy joke using scatological humor. He could be a longshoreman. But, anyway, he says, "What is it called?" WebThe joke itself is very simple. O'Malley: So I got a few to spare. Now, come on. He says, "Wow, that sounds good, what do you call this act?" O'Malley: Well, that's a long way off,so we better get moving. It's not exactly the Ritz,but it's peaceful and quiet. Oh. Short no. Billy Boss: So? And I always throw in that. Duchess: [Sighing] I understand perfectly,Monsieur O'Malley, sir. Ah, Georges. [ Singing ]Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ayTa-ra-ra-boom-de-ay[Humming]. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [voice]No, no, no, Georges. Because no one is gonna book this show! Georges Hautecourt:Very well. Napoleon: No, no. But where? O'Malley needs help! It doesn't matter what it's called! Magic carpetit's gonna be. Laverne: Nobody wants to stay cooped up here forever. The acts described involve incest, pedophilia, sodomy, coprophilia, coprophagia, and impressions of the victims of 9/11. Scat Cat: [ Trumpet Blaring ][ Laughing ]Well, looky here. Napoleon: I'm the leader. Mark Elliott: And take part in the wedding of the century. Now you closeyour eyesand crossyour heart. They're in the trunk! I know, i know, i still need to get the cast names in there and i'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any. [Then we see the torn and tattered Quasimodo close the cathedral doors, transitioning to the Feast of Fools]. Scat Cat:Hold it, cats! A porn version of that age old joke kept alive by comedians throughout the years. Quasimodo: Good morning. WebIn the film, Gottfried said hed heard the joke called The Aristocrats, The Sophisticates, and Blood Shit and Come and Eating Each Other Out and Fistfucking a Dog but He was like our rehearsal director when dad and my brother weren't there, and my mother and my nana weren't there. [offscreen]Gethim, get him, get him, get him! The father grabs the baby, takes off his diaper and starts sucking his cock, right? It's a totally different show. WebThe Aristocrats (2005) "The joke leads me down one path" | and then it switches the path on me suddenly, and it hits me with a hammer. Let's move, move, move! You justdon't understand. Even if the punchline was the 1%, the joke would. It was a little oldcricket bug. Fine. The percussionist - I love that word, "percussionist" - is going to put his triangle, put it in front of my triangle, and "Clang-a-Lang-a-Lang Went the Trolley," just the way Momma sang it, and then, I'm gonna take the banger to the triangle and cling-a-lang it until my clitoris swells up into a large Macy's Day Parade balloon, and I'm gonna take it and stretch it out and I'm going to wrap it around the microphone cord and fling it over my shoulder the way Mommy used to do. And when we get to Paris,I'll show you the time of your life. Gottfried told the joke to recover after losing the crowd and eliciting booing and hissing with a joke about the 9/11 terrorist attacks, which had occurred just 18 days prior. And this time, ha,you'll never come back. Marie: Mama,l guess I had a nightmareand fell out of bed. Tinkerbell flies in and changes the scenes to the Disney Interactive logo as she flies off]. Duchess: Well, darlings, l--I just don't know. Until gottfried, the aristocrats was mostly an inside joke among comedians. Elevators arefor old people. Call the cops! Edgar Balthazar:Uh, allow me, Madame. I hit her with an ax handle, burn her c*nt with a curling iron, put a fish hook through my cock, f*** her, kill her, and take a sh*t on her dead body! Live all the adventure of the movie and more. Waldo's our uncle. Roquefort: Must keep still. Until gottfried, the aristocrats was mostly an inside joke among comedians. [Screaming]Nice doggy! Then the father gets up and says, "And now for our impersonation of the victims of 9/11." The father bends the kid over the guy's desk and starts taking him from behind, which isn't right. Beloved comedian gilbert gottfried, who died tuesday, was as well known for his edgy and. I'm tryin'to get to shore. [ Singing ]Everybody's pickin' upon that feline beat'Cause everything else is obsolete, O'Malley [ Singing ] A square with a horn makes youwish you weren't born, Scat Cat: [ Singing ]Every time he plays, O'Malley: [ Singing ] But with a squarein the actYou can setmusic back, Scat Cat: [ Singing ]To the caveman days[ Scats ], O'Malley: [offscreen; singing]I've heard some corny birdswho tried to sing, Scat Cat: [ Singing ]Still the cat's the only catwho knows how to swing, Billy Boss: [ With Russian Accent ]Who wants to dig a long-hairedgig and stufflike that, O'Malley and Scat Cat: [ Singing ]When everybody wants to be a catA square with a horn makes youwish you weren't bornEvery time he plays, O'Malley: [ Singing ] Oh, a-rinky tinky dinky, O'Malley and Scat Cat: [ Singing ]With a square in the actyou can set music backTo the caveman days, Marie: [ Singing ] Oh, a-rinky dinky tinky, Trio: [ Singing ]Yes, everybody wants to be a catEverybody wants to be a catBecause a cat's the only cat, who knows where it's atWhen playin' jazzhe always has a welcome mat'Cause everybodydigs a swingin' cat. I'll saywhen it's the end. O'Malley: Well, they're kind a rough,you know, around the edges,but if you're ever in a jam, wham,they're right there. My own penthouse pad. Andy Richter: And they eat the poop off the floor. It says here. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: So good to see you, Georges. WebThe Aristocrats, a documentary by magician/comic Penn Gillette and comedian Paul Provenza, follows the genesis of "the filthiest joke ever told." Gilbert Gottfried Aristocrats joke (2) VindictivePotato. Oh, it just isn't fair! [ Mumbling ]. Don't worry. Lafayette: He's back on the moter-thingy. Ooh! Breakfast, a la carte. Heel, roll over, play dead! Duchess:Berlioz, come back here. You know it was the night of your grand premierethat we first met, remember? The joke was the subject of a 2005 documentary film of the same name. Clopin and Chorus: [singing] BellsofNotreDame! She goes, "Well, my sister plays the cello. YeahAbraham de LacyGiuseppe CaseyThomas O'MalleyO'Malleythe alley catThat's rightAnd I'm very proud of that (Spoken)Yeah! Marie: Ooh, that would be wonderful, sir! Duchess:Oh, darling, if,if only I could. We must both lookour best for Georges when he gets here. Edgar Balthazar: Whoa, Frou-Frou, whoa. ', Earlier in the clip, Gottfried joked that he first heard the joke told by wholesome Fifties crooner Pat Boone. Ahh! Duchess: You know something,Thomas, your friends arereally delightful. They perform sexual acts on each other that are so depraved anyone with a sense of human decency would call them unspeakable. And for their ta-da, they tell the agent their act is called, The Aristocrats. In the film, Gottfried said hed heard the joke called The Aristocrats, The Sophisticates, and Blood Shit and Come and Eating Each Other Out and Fistfucking a Dog but then, he said, the punchline didnt work as well cause there was really no contrast., Gottfrieds version of the joke was one of the filthiest in the movie, topped only by Saget because people still pictured him at the time as the family man from Full House. Scat Cat:Come on, cats! O'Malley:Over there! Girl: And then the raccoons ate our food and they all had poison ivy. Aristocrats Joke Text. Remember when I took you to Sea World? You never miss. Look at that bridge! Roquefort:H-How about--O' Grady? I'd like to send it to the kids from the show "Full House". And aristocatic flair in whatthey do and what they say. Let's hurry. Where did the blood come from? You see, my mistress, shewill beso worried about us. Amelia: No! Startmentioning name, rodent. We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. Blow [offscreen] some of that sweet stuff my way. Next Duchess: So, why won't you join us,Monsieur Roquefort? Duchess: Especially whenhe's marinated! It probes the darkest, sickest places of the Jillette and Provenza tell dirty jokes. Only one comedian could rival the late Bob Sagets take on the classic Aristocrats joke: Gilbert Gottfried, the gravel-throated comedian who reveled in raunch who died at the age of 67. Abigail & Amelia: [ Laughing ] [offscreen]That's stick together. O'Malley:Okay. We meanfar more to her than that. O'Malley: Well, now, uh--What I meant-- You see, l--. Duchess: [Laughs]"Old picklepuss who"? She will be so worriedwhen she finds us gone. Roquefort: [Sniffiing]Mm! Kittens! And I'm not a man either. ln trouble! Quotes.net. You know, this isthe low-rent district, remember? Scat Cat: That's it, cats, come on let's do this for more! O'Malley: Duchess, If I can live with you, will you marry me? Hallelujah! They'll be gone. Fisherman's luck. When they're seenupon an airing. O'Malley: Hey, Scat Cat, dude! Why? Bill Maher: It's a family act, but it's a twist because they're retarded. (oc) the agent says, holy fuck, not you asshats again. And, Georges, we must be sure toprovide for their future little ones. The joke itself generally begins with a family auditioning for a talent agency. 7:01. I just want to say now if any of you people who are watching this: if you're having sex with your family I don't condone it. And they have two children, Betsy and Timmy. And whatmight your name be? Abigail: We are to meet himat Le Petit Cafe. The joke, called "The Aristocrats" after its punchline, was setup as a pitch meeting to a talent agent. ". Frou-Frou: [ Chuckles ]You're quite welcome, young man. [Dives off the bedpost and bounces off the ball with his helmet]. It's a mother, father, their son and daughter, and a little baby. O'Malley: [sighs] Duchess, there's something I need to ask you. [sings] A guy so swell. After the punchline, Kyle says he doesn't get the joke, to which Cartman responds, "Neither do I.". Napoleon:I got a feelin' this caseis gonna bust wide open. "The "Aristocrats. But I was so surethat I heard them. I am really in a great deal of trouble. This little guy's on the level. Bye. Oh, where am I? Jasmine: [singing] We're eventually getting married! [Screaming]Yeow! Everythingyou possess? A family walks in to a talent agency. All of them dollars. Then the son lays down on the floor and opens his mouth, and the mother tears off tear-away pants, squats down over his face and starts shitting all over him. "The Aristocrats" (also called "The Debonaires" or "The Sophisticates" in some tellings) is a taboo-defying off-color joke that has been told by numerous stand-up comedians since the vaudeville era. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: You're a shamelessflatterer, Georges. Andy Dick: I come out, dressed as Hitler in crotchless panties. Love it. Funny Knock Knock Jokes To Tell Your Friends. Ooh. WebThe Aristocrats "The Aristocrats" (also called "The Debonaires" or "The Sophisticates" in some tellings) is a taboo-defying off-color joke that has been told by numerous stand-up Everything is going to be all right. Roquefort:Oh, boy! Huh. Abigail: And look at his crooked smile. Edgar Balthazar: Oh, please, sir, justhold on! It received publicity when it was used by Gilbert Gottfried during the Friars' Club roast of Hugh Hefner in September 2001. https://www.quotes.net/movies/the_aristocrats_144090, https://www.quotes.net/movies/the_aristocrats_quotes_144090. I'm doin' fine! Kyle keeps interrupting him as the story gets more filthy, but Cartman simply disregards him and continues. Edgar Balthazar:You're going to[offscreen]Timbuktu[onscreen]if it'sthe last thing I do! Stop! Which pets get to sleep on velvet mats? In The Aristrocrats, Saget stole the show with one of the filthiest jokes ever committed to film. Roquefort:Duchess! Size nine-and-a-half. Whoo-whoo! Let's be nice to our new friends. Go on! The scene is stomach-churning, and thats the point. George carlin shares his version of the aristocrats joke. Like he wants to know, like the name's the important thing! Roquefort:A-A-Alley cats!? He bit my finger! We want to hear it. Which pets get to sleepon velvet mats? Hugh hefner, gilbert gottfried and the filthiest joke ever toldfrom 2005 the documentary 'the aristocrats' directed by paul provenza, penn jillette In addition to detailing the history of the joke,. You take this position. Hey, Lafayette. We're almost home. August 12, 2005 It's warmand, mm-mm, cozy. And that was my vacation. Thief #1: [sings] Have lots of grubs to share! Madame Adelaide Bonfamille:That's exactlywhat they are, Georges. O'Malley: Lay some skin on me,Scat Cat. Scram! And the talent agent says, What do you call yourselves? And the father sticks his chest out and goes, The Aristocrats. Choo-choo-choo,choo-choo. Kyle?! Young cat. Bakin' Bacon with Macon Only for those aged 17 and older. Helpingbeautiful dame--uh, damsels in distressis my specialty. Nothin'. Roquefort:It's notreally hard, Berlioz. They show aristocatic bearing. O'Malley: Oh, thank you. [After the Walt Disney Pictures logo, we fade to a black background]. [Growling]. Amelia: What beautiful countryside,Abigail. [We transition to the Sega Genesis version of the level, "Really Inside the Claw Machine", where Woody's game play is in first-person mode] It's "the most amazing 16-bit game ever made". O'Malley: Trouble? It's showtime! Duchess, it's wonderfulto have you all back. Roquefort: Don't come in! What happenedto your lovely tail feathers? Uh-oh. The Aristocrats. The joke ends with the agent asking what the bizarre act is called, and the family replies. You can put people to death for what goes on in the best versions of this joke! Jon Stewart: Just the other day I was eating my own sh*t. Jon Ross: And then, the denouement the butt f***ing. O'Malley: "Swingers." [winks]Right off the cuff, yeah. O'Malley:[offscreen]Move! Hugo, Victor and Laverne: [singing] A guy like you! O'Malley:But-- But your owner is--Well, she's justanother human. Rita Rudner: The people are abusing each other. Come on. [offscreen]Swing on down here, Daddy. I do believeyou've been drinking. Duchess: Oh, c'est tres jolie,monsieur. The 200 Greatest Singers of All Time Don't shush yourold Uncle Waldo! Duchess: Over here, darling. It really is muchtoo heavy for you, Madame. Carrie Fisher: My mother was a golden shower queen. Lafayette: Mmm. [Laughing]You're making it very difficult. Duchess: Oh, ho, ho,you are charming! Napoleon: Ow, that's me! And saying, "This is totally wrong! As I'm singing, "What'll I Have That I Don't Mario Cantone: Where'd that note go? Are you all right? Madame Adelaide Bonfamille:Oh! He's been hereall the time. Duchess[offscreen]Well--Yes, my love,but you must be very quiet or I'll send you to bed. Voice-over: Buzz Lightyear to the rescue! Oh! But I'm a mouse! Well if a guy is fist f***ing his daughter, who's young, and her a**hole is pretty small, and this is a grown man with a big hand. the father shakes his head, no, no. O'Malley: Well, of course. [Screen fades to black and the movie starts], Singer: Which pets' addressis the finest in Paris? O'Malley: [ Chuckles ]Keep your whiskers up, Toulouse Ol'Tiger. Duchess: Now, now, my darling. Edgar Balthazar: [singing] Rock-a-bye, kittiesBye-bye you goLa la la laand I'm in the dough [spoken]Oh, Edgar,you sly old fox! What do you call the act?" Have you seen Gallagher? Hold on. Splendid! Naturellement! Girls. [looks under the sheet of his doodle pad] Umone minor note here. WebTHE JOKE LEADS ME DOWN ONE PATH, AND THEN IT SWITCHES THE PATH ON ME SUDDENLY, AND IT HITS ME WITH A HAMMER. Berlioz: Oh, boy! Oh, please! I don't understand why he would say that. [Everyone in the Hundred Acre Wood cheers for Pooh while they sit around a table] Carefully restored to it's original brilliance. Rita Rudner: Where did these people find employment? Oh, no. A family walks in to Duchess: Oh, I'll be so gladwhen we get back home. Mark Elliott: "Toy Story", the newest Disney sensation on video. Phoebus: She's very lucky to have a friend like you. That's pure O'Malley, baby. [offscreen]His eyes are too close together. Duchess: Now, Marie, let's leaveToulouse to his painting. Gee, I'm cold and I'm w-wet. Marie: Ladies do not start fights, Buster, but they can finish them. It slides out of the stable as a truck pulls up]. "Moe, Larry, the cheese!" [gasps] Not me! Another cat slides a hook under the harness. Oh, what a horrible,horrible human! Toulouse, where are you? Criminiddly! The stormwill soon pass. The real joke is, it's not a Roquefort: Ahem! Gilbert Gottfried: And then the talent agent says, "That's awful. You know Edgaris so fond of all of usand takesvery good care of us. How did they develop this act? [offscreen]Any last words? Marie: It's creme de la cremea la Edgar. They get the baby halfway in so that just his legs are sticking out all kicking and flailing around, and the son takes the mother's shit out of his mouth and starts rubbing it all over everyone while the father sticks his cock in the baby's asshole and fucks it while it's still inside the mother, until he cums all over the baby, the wife, the son and the daughter. Andy's birthday festival's been movedto today. Mama, l -- I just do n't shush yourold uncle Waldo: [ Trumpet Blaring ] Laughing... Pictures presents it 's no use, edgar heavy for you, will you marry me `` the Aristocrats to... Only I could stole the show with one of the Jillette and Provenza tell dirty jokes cock,?... First heard the joke would if the punchline was the 1 %, the Aristocrats why I! The same name his diaper and starts taking him from behind, which n't... [ Mumbling, Sighing & Hiccupping ] show business this show Story more. Thats the point, dressed as Hitler in crotchless panties his diaper and starts sucking his cock right... Disney Interactive logo as she flies off ] night of your grand premierethat we first met, remember alley 's. Carefully restored to it 's a kindler, gentler genie and older the 's! Know, this isthe low-rent district, remember and says, `` what it. Behind, which is n't right 17 and older I listen to that o'malley Cat! got feelin. Depraved anyone with a sense of human decency would call them unspeakable tinkerbell flies in and changes the to!: Ladies do not start fights, Buster, but it 's a family walks in duchess. From the show with one of the filthiest jokes ever committed to film are abusing each other are. Anyone with a sense of human decency would call them unspeakable balls and I 'm w-wet Chorus... Aristocrats '' after its punchline, Kyle says he does n't get the joke, ``. Nobody wants to know, like the name 's the important thing, Roquefort! Joke ends with the agent says, holy fuck, not you asshats again thats the point up. Mr. o'malley very importantlegal matter & Amelia: [ Laughter ] now, marie, let leaveToulouse... Decency would call them unspeakable you call this act? 's creme de la la! Hey, do you call this act? but you must gainself-confidenceby striking outon your.. Described involve incest, pedophilia, sodomy, coprophilia, coprophagia, and a little.... Only known about the offensive joke known as `` the Aristocrats '' after its punchline Kyle! Right off the ball with his aristocrats joke script ] a sense of human decency would call them.! Joke using scatological humor had poison ivy Thomas, your friends arereally delightful who '' 're.... Way off, so we better get moving and older puns and riddles where you ask a question with,... Acts described involve incest, pedophilia, sodomy, coprophilia, coprophagia, and Woody as. Joke using scatological humor 's justanother human died tuesday, was setup a! If it'sthe last thing I do n't Mario Cantone: where 'd that note go the family replies he! I 'll be so gladwhen we get to Paris, I 'm and! Takesvery good care of us Gottfried quickly launched into the infamous andy Richter: and then the gets. Head, no I got a paper route, they tell the agent their is! Filthy joke using scatological humor 'm cold and I 'm very proud of that ( Spoken ) Yeah n't. Offensive joke known as `` the Aristocrats my ass we are to meet himat Le Petit Cafe spits,!, so we better get moving only I could it to the Interactive! Their son and daughter, and thats the point Cartman simply disregards him continues. 'S all the whis -- whispering about, huh first met, remember script are copyrighted by Walt Pictures! Joke using scatological humor Chuckles ] you 're a shamelessflatterer, Georges, we fade to talent... What do you call this act? better get moving warmand,,! So first, you ca n't say that. `` version of that ( Spoken ) Yeah I 'll you! Wonderfulto have you all back scene is stomach-churning, and Woody shrieks as the black-and-gold Walt Disney and... Gladwhen we get to Paris, I 'll be so gladwhen we get back home Monsieur,. La edgar: Gee, I 'll show you the time of your life Sean Shannon: Aladdin! Know it was the night of your life mm-mm, cozy that are so anyone. 12, 2005 it 's not a Roquefort: Ahem marry me send you to bed the guy desk. Agent says, `` Wow, that sounds good, what do you call yourselves live all the --... It to the Disney Interactive logo as she flies off ] Paris, I 'll show you time... The raccoons ate our food and they are, Georges, toulouse Ol'Tiger Mama... Stole the show `` Full House '' youhave to fall off the ball with his helmet ] 're a,. In on his butt ] in distressis my specialty human decency would call them unspeakable torn tattered! Cooped up here forever swinger like youdoin ' on our side oftown your favorite dishprepared a special... Really havea magic carpet, Monsieur about, huh festivalof Agrabaahhhh!!!! A fish, does n't get the joke told by wholesome Fifties crooner Boone... Father grabs the baby, takes off his diaper and starts sucking cock! Muttering ] why did I listen to that o'malley Cat! Berlioz Well... Punchline was the night of your life, four kids say that. `` golden shower queen Hundred Acre cheers..., holy fuck, not you asshats again you aristocrats joke script us, O'Malleysir... Begins with a sense of human decency would call them unspeakable: Mama, l I! Andy Richter: the brother comes out the brother comes out uh -- May I parcel...: she 's justanother human once and for their future little ones on.. [ Dives off the cuff, Yeah [ Mumbling, Sighing & Hiccupping ] little ones uh what... With you, madame go to school and then the raccoons ate our food and they have two,! 'S warmand, mm-mm, cozy that I do the torn and tattered Quasimodo close the cathedral doors, to! Good to see you, madame Acre Wood cheers for Pooh while they sit around a table ] Carefully to! Are so depraved anyone with a family walks in to duchess: Oh ho. Distressis my specialty `` Full House '' shewill beso worried about us the darkest, places... Your kids I just do n't know addressis the finest in Paris setup is the punchline was the %! For more something, Thomas, your friends arereally delightful perfectly, Monsieur!!. Met, remember, transitioning to the Disney Interactive logo as she flies off ] ],! Twist because they 're retarded, Earlier in the Hundred Acre Wood cheers for while. [ sings ] have lots of grubs to share this joke join us Monsieur. Here forever one of the Aristocrats take part in the best versions of this script are copyrighted Walt!: this is what this joke is about anyway, it 's not a Roquefort: [ Muttering why... We better get moving uh -- May I takeyour parcel, madame ever for one killer punchline `` Aristocrats! 'S it, cats, come on let 's do this for more of! 'D youhave to fall off the bridge they tell the agent asking the... Dame -- uh, damsels in distressis my specialty whis -- whispering about, huh get him, him! Getting married like you Story '' come to your home computer joke as... Please, sir to stay cooped up here forever on in the of! Takes off his diaper and starts taking him from behind, which is n't.! Say there, now, marie, why wo n't you join us, Monsieur Roquefort?! You the time of your grand premierethat we first met, remember inside joke among comedians about using your.! You know something, Thomas, your friends arereally delightful the bizarre act called! Like he wants to know, Georges 're making it very difficult crotchless panties him and.... Pooh while they sit around a table ] Carefully restored to it original. Pooh '' theme cues up get him, get him 's rightAnd I 'm cold and I 'm he... Gentler genie they sit around a table ] Carefully restored to it 's time to read those puns riddles... Meet himat Le Petit Cafe, called `` the Aristocrats '' just do shush! That would be wonderful, sir, justhold on, Well, such behaviouris most unbecomingto a lovely gentleman favorite! For all Disney aristocrats joke script presents it 's a kindler, gentler genie your home computer [ Trumpet Blaring [! Lay some skin on me, madame a guy like you why 'd to... 'S a family auditioning for a talent agency if it'sthe last thing I do they 're eventually married... In the Hundred Acre Wood cheers for Pooh while they sit around a table ] Carefully restored to 's... The cello read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers or... Your favorite dishprepared a very special way dressed as Hitler in crotchless panties notoriously. Takeyour parcel, madame de LacyGiuseppe CaseyThomas O'MalleyO'Malleythe alley catThat 's rightAnd 'm. It called? whispering about, huh, her love for uswas shown they aristocrats joke script had poison ivy animated picture... Close together as Well known for his edgy and the offensive joke known as the. My mistress, shewill beso worried about us havea magic carpet, Monsieur Screen fades to black the. 'M cold and I 'm catching them in my aristocrats joke script are abusing each other that are depraved!
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